Sunday, July 19, 2009

How Old Am I?

This past weekend, me and best friend/wing man Ted Mosby went to this college party downtown. Ted being his lame and not so awesome self started yapping to me about how I couldn't have sex with an underage because of this statutory rape thingy. Then the question hit me..How Old am I? And I don't mean how old it says on my birth certificate cos that dosen't really matter. Take David Beckham for example, his birth certificate probably says he over thirty right? But he could pass for a twenty five year old. And then there's the seventeen year old singer sean kingston but I personally think he looks thirty. Any ways so in the party am just looking around and then I see a cute little asian chick. Then I walk up to her and ignite...wait for it..."the am a new exchange student whose lost but secretly wants to get in your pants plan". Also conveniently known as the Dexter effect. You see the thing about the DEXTER effect is that only some one as smart and cunning as I.. Barney Stinson..can pull off such a great plan. So we start talking, I buy her a drink and then I tell her am twenty seven. All off of sudden she starts laughing uncontrollably like she doesn't believe me. And then am like "How old do you think I am?". And she says to me in this high crisp tone and is her voice " twenty at most". And then it hits me. While my birth certificate might say otherwise a I am only twenty in sex years. Long story short, I took her to my place and we did it in my shower. Anyways the morals of this story you should go out and figure out your sex age...true story.

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