Saturday, March 3, 2012

I endorse Newt Gingrinch

As you all know I'm not really into politics, usually I'm too busy being awesome..WUTTUP!!! But I stumbled upon the Republican party's debate last night, and I've gotta tell you that Newt Gingrinch dude is my kinda guy. I mean sure he's really old...weird looking and has a head shaped like a turtle. But his numbers are outstanding. And I'm not talking political jib-jab numbers, I'm talking player numbers. This dude banged his 26 year old high school teacher when he was 19, then left her for this other chick 9 years younger than he was. And now his married to this foxy milf name Callista. People, these are numbers we can believe, not to mention he has a great suit. And sure his been married a few times, but who else are you gonna vote for; that a Romney dude? his been with the same chick for years. And don't even get me started on Santorum, do you even know what Santorum means? Because I wish I didn't...

Drunk Train: Day 1

I believe I may have made the greatest discovery since Sir. Stinsonium Barnicle discovered the female g-spot. I call it...the drunk train. You know how you go to a bar looking for a hot drunk chick...well picture this; it a train filled with..drunk chicks! I have decided to voyage into the unknown and find out more about this train. Marshall thinks its a bad idea, but then again what does he know about picking up women. TO THE DRUNK TRAIN!!!