Thursday, July 28, 2011

Mama Grizzlies?!?

So I was banging this chick last week. I think her name was Karen...or Kristine..or..well something with a K. Anyways so the I had left the TV on. And this ad for Sarah "wuts her face" Palin came on. Well it turns out she's a Mama Grizzly. I mean like an actual Grizzly Bear. Half human half Grizzly. But that got me thinking. Which half is Grizzly? I'm guessing the waist down. Has any of you guys ever had sex with a Mama Grizzly? As the picture shows they seem to be very patriotic.

Relationships are for losers

Guys, let me start off by saying sorry for the wait. I know its been a while but as George Washington once said " Awesomeness is timeless" Anyways I got a lot of fan mail recently but there was one that stuck out to me the most. So its from a guy named Frank. He and his girlfriend have been dating for five years now and he's looking for the perfect and most awesome way to propose to her. Now Frank, if you're reading this (which I know you are because my blog is awesome ), my answer is this : dump her! You don't need that kinda baggage. Five years! Really! Haven't you been reading anything I've been writing in my blog. Jeezzz. Relationships are for losers, and marriages are even worse. You know the longest relationship I've been in the last year? Four...hours. Wuttup! [Hypothetical high five]
So Frank do yourself a favor...get back into the game

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Royal Wedding

Oh I love the summer. Don't you? Its the time of the year when chicks wear a lot less clothing so its easy to tell who's hot and who's not. Anyways for those of you don't know yet, I, Sir. Barney Stinson, will be attending the Royal wedding. Why you ask? Because of all the Royal....Booty! Yes you heard me. Every one knows that chicks get vulnerable during weddings, and if you don't know that, that means you haven't been READING MY BLOG! Besides, you know what they say "There's no booty like a royal booty" So I will be suiting up for what is bound to be an interesting event. What up!!!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

The Gift Of Christmas Booty

Hey there, we've had a lot of fun this year. But on a more serious note, this is the time of the year when we remember the importance of giving. And there's no greater gift....than the gift of booty. So this holiday season why not bang someone in need. Maybe a co-worker, a friend or maybe just a stranger at the bar. Happy holidays people and remember...there's no greater gift than the gift of booty. ;)