Monday, August 17, 2009

The truth behind the Naked man...

Many people have asked me "Oh Barney, how do you make the naked man work?" And I think it's time I reveal the truth behind the naked man. As most of you already know, the naked man remained a mystery to me until about two years ago when "he" came to me. "He"(as I refer to him) was not very good looking neither was he very bright but he pulled off the naked man on Robin.The true origins of the naked man can be traced back to many years ago when the great Barnibus Stinson successfully seduced a female senator by using the naked man. Now one thing you need to remember is that the Naked Man will only work two out of three times. I have taken time out of my busy schedule of awesomeness to give you some basic tips to making the naked man a success.

1. Timing : The Naked man is only used as a last resort. So be sure to time your move. Wait till your partner is away. Make any excuse you can to give your self enough time to undress yourself.

2. The Pose: One of the most important things to note is the pose. The pose can basically determine the outcome of the naked man. A bad pose can really ruin things. Some of the really good poses you can make include the am so surprise pose and the superman pose. The am so surprised pose involves you basically opening your mouth as though you're completely surprised, while the superman pose involves you standing with both your arms folded across your chest as though you were superman.

3. Keep it Standing: I advise that you keep...."little junior down there" standing when she walks in. This makes her more aware about your intentions and studies have shown that 80% of women in America are impressed by this. I think keeping it standing is really important because let's be honest little junior can't do his job lying down.

4. Size Matters: Anyone who has ever told you that size doesn't matter is a big liar. Size does matter. Unfortunately this is an area you have very little control over. My advice is if you are a little unfortunate in this area, you focus on other areas to help you with the naked man. For all of you reading this, I encourage you to try the naked man...and may the force of the naked man be with you.

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