Thursday, November 19, 2009

Dear America


I know you're probably wondering why it took me so long to write in my awesome blog. Well the reason is simple. I made the stupid but common mistake of entering into.....wait for it....a relationship. Yes my friends even the most awesome people can fall prey to the fatal claws of a relationship. But now america....Daddy's back. And his back bigger and better than ever. If there's one thing i've learnt from being in a relationship it's this. Am awesome and relationships are stupid. I mean yes Robin Scherbertsky is canna hot for a canadian but just look at what happened to me when i got into a relationship. I gained weight, i became a lot less awesome and worse of all....i went to canada **yuck**. But now it's time for me to make up for lost time by banging every hot chick in New york city one hottie at a time. Well by now am pretty sure most of you have heard about the divine book called...The playbook. It's importance to humanity is second only to the bro code. The playbook contains plays from the "My penis grants wishes" to the "Ted mosby" to the much more complicated "Scuba diver" and one of my personal favorites "the he's not coming". Well tommorow night i am going to be performing one of the trickiest plays in the playbook called "President Clinton". What is the president clinton? Well am glad you asked. Step 1: Get a suit preferable an Armani. Step 2: Acquire your target, preferably a blonde. Step 3: Before talking to her receive a fake phone call from former President Clinton asking you to meet in washington next week...and then.....it's on..**wink**.

2 comments:

  1. Why Clinton instead of Obama?! Woudn't it be better to meet him?

    ReplyDelete