Oh Canada!
I am not Canadian. How do I know this? Because I’m not terrible. Here are just a few of the infinite number of reasons why America is better than Canada…
| Cana-duh U.S.A! | ||
| Population | 34.6 million | 312 million (over 10x bigger!) |
| Official Language | French and English | American |
| Government | Federal parliamentary democracy and constitutional monarchy | Not sure, but it’s gotta be better than Canada’s! |
| Flag | Three stripes and a maple leaf | Thirteen stripes and fifteen stars. Note to Canada: To clarifiy that’s fifty massive, luminous balls of plasma, that through the monoculear fusion create the energy that powers the entire universe. But definitely stick with the leaf. That’ll get you laid. |
| Currency | The loonie | Not the loonie |
| Favorite sport | Hockey | Every other sport ever |
| National anthem | "O Canada" | "The Star Spangeled Banner" Note to Canada: The title of you anthem is hilariously appropriate. |
| Landmarks | Niagara Falls | Niagara Falls AND the Playboy Mansion |
| General Demeanor | Polite | Aggressive, nasty, bitter, resentful… In short, kick-ass |
| Law enforcement | Mountie | John McClane |
| Gun policy | Individuals who wish to possess firearms must have a valid possession license and must complete the Canadian Firearms Safety Course, weas well as passing a background check and waiting the mandatory 28 day waiting period | fire away |
| Healthcare system | Universal and free | Poor people die |
| Famous musicians | Celine Dion, Rush, Bare Naked Ladies, Bryan Adams, Paul Anka, Alanis Morissette, Gordon Lightfoot, Nickleback | Jon Bon Jovi |
| Best place to eat | Tim Horton’s | Hooters |
| Chicks | Pam Anderson | Really? Pam Anderson? First of all, she’s super old. Second of all, when she wasn’t old, do you know where she went? I’ll give you a hint: It’s direcly south of you and has hotter chicks |
So in other words, in Canada you're safe and surrounded by polite people, and in the USA you are not safe, will die if you're not born with money, high chances of being shot by aggressive people who think of them selves as "kick-ass"? I would much rather live in Canada then... or even better, Denmark. Denmark is the real country of opportunities. It doesn't matter if you're born with money here, you will have a chance for a uni-education and a great job anyway, you only have to have 1 thing to make it in Denmark - a brain.
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