The Woo girls

Every now and then I walk into a bar and look at a table filled with attractive good-looking women who woo. It fills me with joy to always know that somewhere out there is a really hot desperate woman. A fan recently sent me this mail asking what woo girls are. Well being the awesome person that I am, I've taken time out of my schedule of being awesome to explain what a woo girl really is. But the first question really is...what is a woo? A woo is characteristic sound made a young female usually between her mid to late twenties. Most woos are made over little things like when the pizza gets delivered or other things like when a model takes his shirt off. What is very common among woo girls is their desperation. Studies have shown that over 80% of woo girls are bimbos. These studies have also shown that one out of every three woo girls will sleep with you on the first date... true story. Woo girls are a gift of life itself. Most girls only become woo girls after going through certain situations like a bad break up, or when they've just lost their job or when they find out their canadian. Apart from your regular woo girls there are also the Grade B woo girls. These are not actual woo girls. These girls only woo once in a while. A good example may be Robin. Most people may wonder what to do when faced with a woo girl. But before I answer that question I think it would be important to know the history surrounding the species that is the woo girl.

It was a hot summer afternoon. The year was 1875, Professor. Barnicle Supremo was going for an expedition in a small town not far from what we now call New york City. As he strolled down, he was shocked to hear a strange but somewhat erotic sound now referred to as a woo. He searched his surroundings and when he finally found the source of this sound he was dumbfounded to realize that the sound was being made by a young and beautiful woman. Professor. Barnicle introduced himself to this woman. Her name was Garcia Lopez. And do you know what Prof. Barnicle did? He slept with her and never called her again. This coincidentally was the same day the "one night stand" was invented. Two years later Professor. Barnicle was awarded a nobel prize for his article on the woo girls. So you see my dear awesome blog readers, when faced with a woo girl just sleep with her and never call her again.....true story.